Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our actions. The things in our control are by nature free, unrestrained, unhindered; but those not in our control are weak, slavish, restrained, belonging to others.

Epictetus, Enchiridion

I’ve always had mixed feelings about ‘control’. Just the idea of worrying too much
about controlling and organizing my life felt weird and rigid. I value flexibility,
freedom, joy, creativity, and enthusiasm. Even if I wanted to control, I didn’t know
how or where to start.

I saw different cases in my social circle:

● Artists and creators who spent a lot honing their craft, although struggled
with procrastination and anxiety due to their freestyle approach, lacking
discipline, strategy and vision.
● Hard workers with lots of grit and passion, yet struggling to maintain a long
term vision and struggling to sustain their basic survival needs.
● Obsessed business owners who were able to build some wealth, although
paying a high price of stress, anxiety and overwhelm.

It was clear to me that their results were lacking. Something in their approach to
life wasn’t right. I didn’t have a clear approach either, and way too many questions:
What’s the right quantity and quality of control? How does it look? Should I feel
bad trying to completely control my life? Will I become a control-freak?

Reframing control

One game-changer for me was learning the stoic concept of Dichotomy of
Control. It distinguishes between internal and external things.. When you focus on
trying to manipulate external factors, like in example others’ opinions, actions and
reactions, you naturally feel depressed and disempowered. By the contrary, when
you prioritize changing things in your locus of control, the result is a dramatic rise
in your capacity to create and get things done.

This concept is a wake up call for anyone trying to create results in life, it invites
you to fully assume control of your actions, reactions, beliefs and emotions.
When focusing on your inner resources you will:

● Discover how to influence your results in a practical and clear way.
● Stop expecting good things to happen to you
● Start crafting plans and taking action towards your goals.
● Overcome challenges and feel empowered in your environment.
● Reveal a new level of self-reliance, peace and confidence.

Instead of worrying about what others are doing, you will find yourself analyzing
the effectiveness of your own actions.. You will feel motivated to review your
goals and improve your strategies because you will clearly see a cause and
effect relationship between your efforts and your results.

This is the mindset of a leader, someone who assumes full responsibility towards
his life and doesn’t waste time with blaming or self-pity. An individual like this will
value anything that improves his capacity to leverage his inner resources.
Anything that brings awareness and consciousness, will be for him a source of
power and change.

Leveraging your Power

To get things done and achieve goals, there is no other way but to organize your
life and leverage your power as much as you can, without any sense of guilt,
shame, or fear.

So, I invite you to reflect… How do you relate to control? Are you embracing it the
right way? Are you truly using your full power?

I designed this Embracing Control exercise for you to continue reflecting around
this theme.